pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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