dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
