dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
