The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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