you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
