Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
