Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You need a sexual gate keeper
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
