I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
