Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
