Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
