dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
