where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
