It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
