I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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