I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Plan B is the new Plan A
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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