We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
