oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
