Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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