my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
