hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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