I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
