also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize