paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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