there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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