I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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