what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
