"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize