She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
