And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is Oprah even human
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
