I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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