Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
