If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
