It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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