Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
