nut hugger
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Let's get the cat blown out
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
