i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
