I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
