bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
