I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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