I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
