I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
