guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
