Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize