the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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