The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
