she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
