New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
