So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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