So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
