I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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