So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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