what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
its liver damage thursday
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
