You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize