I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
birth control should be required to get into college
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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