their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
