I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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