if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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