She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How does one acquire holy water?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
