it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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